FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i will never coherently bang her
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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