your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
did i just pee glitter
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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