Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Let's get the cat blown out
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
