i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
