I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize