i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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