Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
