Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize