You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
My breasts were aching with rage.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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