don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
