my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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