The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
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I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
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Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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