How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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