I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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