i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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