Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
