well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
