I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
