she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
