woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
