i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
