told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
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Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
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Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
where are my eyebrows?
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