If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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