I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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