She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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