Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
