I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
