WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
