Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We have started to decorate penises.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
