No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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