Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
