It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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