thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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