I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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