I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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