Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
