I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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