at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize