Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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