Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
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he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
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But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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