ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize
