we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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