I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole a fireplace last night.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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