the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Soap is not a condiment
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
And then he peed in my hair
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