Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize