she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
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HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
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Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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