its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
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I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
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Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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