Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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