That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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