So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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