He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
