Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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