your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
