My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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